Mood : depressed
Listening to : Aimai Elegy - Soraru
icon by miracle_hammer

Wow it's been a year since I've last blogged. I actually wanted to blog about my birthday a few weeks ago and the celebration last week but I don't feel like it anymore ^^;

Since I've entered science class in my 11th grade, I feel kinda depressed these days specially with my academic grades. Science class has smart students which makes me gotta study twice harder than before but the burden seems too much for me. I feel like I've been procastinating and playing too much these days that my grades are crumbling down. I'm taking this the hard way right now and probably because of the emotional impact as well. The last time I felt really depressed about my math test because I made a stupid mistake. Today I'm feeling the same thing about my physics test. I think I'm not doing a good job now and well, things are going down right now. I always ended up regretting myself and saying "I should've studied more yesterday" or "I should've made this exercise" and make myself completely like a fool. I really want to get out of my condition atm and strive through my study so I can get back to how I used to be, just enjoy my study (not really but yeah) and still able to get good grades.

I also talked about future stuffs with my dad today. I told him that I'm sick of school and feel that what I've learnt won't be useful at all since I'm going for design career or something among that line. My dad actually didn't mad at me and we talked more about stuffs about how I can go to college or graduate earlier (that actually looks impossible but IDK) to get scholarship. I felt happy that my dad supports me with my career. I'm just hoping I can REALLY get a scholarship and go with my desired subject that's connected to drawing anime and stuffs :]

I'm glad I can throw my tantrums in here because my mood might go crazy and killing me inside ~_~ also thanks for my AGD friends specially Uruchai and Kanachi who were cheering me up on plurk. Also Rii who said that I can have a little chat with her if I wanted to. I'm glad that I still have friends who care about me, thanks guys! I love you all :3

Also, Soraru's Aimai Elegy really fits my mood atm. Sure I'm not depressed about couple and relationships and such, but the music makes me relieved a little bit. Another song is Ring A Bell - Battle arrangment which is a fanmade mix from the song "Ring A Bell" from Tales of Vesperia. Just feel like listening to it :D

I hope I can get over my depressed feelings atm because the pressure seems to much for me. I'm just not the type of person who expressed her feelings outside. I keep it within myself that's why I need to write it here.